God, grant me the SERENITY

To accept the things I cannot change

COURAGE to change the things I can

And the WISDOM to know the difference

(Serenity Prayer, by Reinhold Niebuhr)

The prayer above is really inspiring for me. Especially in these days, when I sometimes get frustrated because of my undergraduate thesis and my graduation deadline.

At first I was so sure that I can be graduated on time, after 4 years in university. My way to graduation was so smooth. On my first semester I’ve gotten TOEFL score that is more than 500, so I could already take the English classes. I never failed in any classes, even the hardest. I had my first internship program just in time. Then when I was on my 7th semester I’ve been ready to prepare my undergraduate thesis proposal.

And then came the new policy that stated that every students which take the colloquium (that’s what they call undergraduate thesis proposal program in my department) must attend some class sessions. Because I had my internship program at Bali, it is almost impossible to attend that class sessions (except I got permission from the corporate, and I had extra money for the transportation from Bali-Surabaya). So I asked my lecturer if I can finish the proposal and the rest of my thesis in just one semester. She said that we could make it if we were dilligent enough. I considered myself as a diligent person, so I took the challenge.

But I was so shock when my friend told me that it was almost impossible to finish the thesis in just one semester, especially if the research method is qualitative. And I use qualitative research method. My lecturer said that it was true because no one have ever done it before. If they could finish their qualitative research in one semester, usually they got bad mark because they couldn’t have an in-depth analysis.

I used to motivate my self that I will be the first student who can finish a qualitative thesis in one semester with good mark. But seeing the schedule, it may be impossible. I’ve passed the colloquium , but I still have to wait till the end of April (or maybe the beginning of May) to get some lecturers which will assist me in finishing the thesis. And, they may still want to revise my workbefore they let me continuing it. The assistance may be very long and tiring, especially if the lecturers are very busy yet perfectionist. But, in the beginning of June I must get their agreement to submit my thesis and join the thesis examination. 

A month seems to be quite long, but hello…. my life is not just merely for thesis! In 21-25 May I will join ISBS program. If my paper is good enough, I may be get chance to present it at the PR Week, held on Jakarta in the end of May. Oh my God, can I finish my thesis just in (effectively) 2 weeks? It’s just too hard to imagine.

So, I just can pray the Serenity Prayer. As long as I have chance to be graduated in this semester, I will struggle to get it. But if I really can’t, I just want to be ready to accept the fact. From now on, I’m in the process of changing my mindset that it’s not that bad if I have to be graduated later. Of course I will feel very guilty to my parents, but I must believe that God make everything good at the right time. Maybe, September is not the right time for me to be graduated.

The most important thing now is,  just working hard for this thesis…. aargh…. I think I need extra diligence to do it….