This week is really horrible. Every day I go to bed early in the morning. In the middle of my silent nights, I faced my notebook, typing… typing… typing…. and typing. Sometimes read my textbooks, or open search engine, searching for references. Oh my God…. so tired….
But my night struggle made me very strong. When I woke up today, I thought that I can conquer everything. I don’t know why, maybe because I’m too sleepy to worry, or maybe it’s the caffeine effect (lately I drink coffee almost everyday, even in weekend, oh My God… I’ve promised to live a healthy life without caffeine…. don’t want to be addicted….). When I had a simulation, presenting my plan for undergraduate thesis, I felt very ready. I’ve remembered all things I wrote….. I am fearless now. If I can conquer hard classes such as content analysis, audience research, and so on, I will conquer undergraduate thesis too. I will survive!
But tonight will still be a long night… tomorrow I must submit my reading course on 9.00. Then I still have two papers to read from my dean, since he want me to make my PR week paper better. He said that my paper is not deep enough.
OK, let’s make a plan then. First I will make my reading course, it will be easy because I’ve read the books and made some notes about it. After finishing it, I will face the content analysis papers, understand the main points, and revised my paper. Then I’ll go to bed, hopefully earlier that previous days. Wake up in the morning, take a refreshing bath, grab everything and go to campus. In case I can’t wake up because of the fatigue, tonight I will send my reading couse by e-mail to my friends living near the campus, so they can print and submit it for me.
Tomorrow I will have a break, after finishing and sending the PR Week paper. Actually I’ve planned to go swimming, because I got strain in my shoulder and my back. But I must submit my thesis proposal on Monday. So, I’ll spend my holidays, swimming in the sea of textbooks.
No… I won’t leat fear annoying me… I will face all of this bravely and successly. Somehow if I fail, at least I did what I believe. No matter what they take from me, I still have my dignity…. (from the lyric of The Greatest Love All, my mood-boosting song).
God, if all of this has come to an end, let me take a long…. long break. Maybe going backpacking somewhere when no one can’t call me…. let me be alone………